School Phobia: Why Don't Children Want to Go to School?

The beginning of education life is important for both children and their parents. It is exciting. But not every child can go through this process with the same ease. Some For children, entering the school gate is a time of great uncertainty and deep feeling. may cause concern. This situation, which is frequently encountered in society, is called "school phobia" is given the name. This phobia, which we often encounter in children, is just a simple not reluctance, against going to school It is a state of intense fear and anxiety that they develop.

The child does not want to be in the school environment, usually in the morning with abdominal pain, nausea or crying spells that start within hours reveals itself. This situation is especially evident in the preschoolperiod and It is more evident in the transition to primary school. The most basic part of a child's education life In the first years of life, it is necessary to take the right approach. correctly School adaptation problems that occur when you do not pay attention to the child's progress It also negatively affects academic and social success in the following years.

In this article, we will examine the subject of school phobia in depth, learn how to deal with separation anxiety andgo to school We will focus on practical solutions that can be applied for the child who does not want it. At the same time, College with children against school phobia We will also discuss the form of communication.

What Causes School Phobia?

We cannot attribute the underlying causes of school phobia to a single reason. this The situation is often a result of various dynamics in the triangle of child, family and school. It consists of a combination. One of the most common causes is separation anxiety. is available. The child enjoys a home environment where he feels safe and an attachment figure. has difficulty separating from his or her parents. This situation causes the child to say "I "Will anything happen to my mother while I'm away?" or "They forget me at school ? It may cause concerns such as.

Changes within the family also affect school phobia. A new brother birth of the child, divorce, moving or an illness in the family, causes him to worry. The child is aware of important events at home while he is at school. He may feel that he is running away or that the balance in the house has changed.

Various factors in the school environment are also important. Strict discipline rules, insecure attachment with the teacher are grounds for anxiety. prepares. In addition, exclusion or peer bullying experienced in the circle of friends, It alienates the child from school. Feeling inadequate academically or Fear of making mistakes in children with a perfectionist personality structure It may trigger the development of phobia. The child's temperament, social skills and The level of self-confidence also plays a big role in how this process progresses.

Which Behavior is Normal Which One Isn't?

In the first weeks of school, children experience some anxiety and It is quite natural that he does not want to. But what is a temporary adaptation process and what is a serious It is very important to distinguish between a school phobia.

Normal Behaviors:

●       Your school Crying at the door for a while in the first days. But soon after entering Calm down and participate in activities.

●       Evenings "Is it okay if I don't go tomorrow?" Asking questions like but in the morning to act willingly when prepared.

●       Fatigue expressing reluctance from time to time due to

●      Monday morning after the weekend break Slight resistance to wanting to go to school.

Abnormal (Needing Attention) Behavior Formats:

●       School Panic attack-like symptoms (sweating, tremors, shortness of breath).

●       Only psychosomatic disorder that manifests itself on school mornings and disappears completely by the weekend symptoms (severe abdominal pain, vomiting, headache).

●       To School The child who doesn't want to go Outbursts of anger or self-harming behavior exhibited by

●       Separation Clinging to your mother's leg and refusing to go to school during school. crying for hours and refusing to communicate. Not giving up physical contact.

●      Not communicating with anyone at school all day long, Not participating in any events. Being isolated from the environment and crying constantly.

If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks and the child If it negatively affects its functionality, this situation requires professional support.

7-Day Adaptation Plan

A planned and consistent approach for a child who has school adaptation problems must be adopted. This method is the best way to manage anxiety. Here 7-day strategic plan that families can implement:

●       1. Day: Preparation and Briefing: Have an honest conversation with your child about school. Your school is a safe place Explain in sweet language what you are doing there and what you will do there. stationery shopping Share his excitement by doing it together.

●       2. Day: School Visit: Your Lessons Visit the school together at a time when it is not busy or when it is quieter. Let him see his classroom, playground and toilet. Have a short and positive conversation with your teacher Make an introduction.

●       3. Day: Creating a Routine: Sleep and Plan waking hours in accordance with the school schedule. Morning routine (breakfast, You may need to rehearse (dressing, packing a bag). Uncertainty causes anxiety routine increases the child's sense of security.

●       4. Day: Short Term Separation Rehearsals: Plan the day as if it were the first day of school and leave the house. her for a while Leave it at school or with a trusted relative (e.g. for 1-2 hours) And be sure to go to him at the time you said. "I'll go and come right away" concrete time such as "I'll be here after lunch" instead of saying Show concrete evidence using slices.

●       5. Day: Positive Farewell:At the school gate Don't say goodbye too long. Say a short goodbye. your own anxiety Avoid reflecting on him. Friendly, when you will pick it up End your farewell by reminding yourself.  Wave and walk away smiling.

●       6. Day: After School Sharing: When he gets back from school, talk about the school day. But "You cried today Stay away from negative questions such as "Which game did you like most today?" Include positive details such as "Did you like it?"

●      Day 7: Maintaining Stability: Positive about school, even on the weekend keep talking. You will get back to your routine on Monday remind me. Consistency is the child's "Maybe I won't go." not your hope, "I must go." It creates awareness.

Parent in School Phobia Errors

Parents' Some of his behaviors with good intentions, unfortunately, turn out to be school phobia can make the process even more difficult. Here are common mistakes you should avoid:

1. Overindulgence: Can't stand his crying and say "Okay, you can not go today" It makes the child think that he can get what he wants by crying. This is It further increases resistance over time.
2. Escape Without Notice: The child is with another Leaving school secretly when he is focused on something creates great confidence in the child. leads to loss. This situation causes separation anxiety problem. deepens. Your child becomes more and more worried that you will disappear at any moment. demands attention. He refuses to leave. Moreover, the bond of trust is damaged He does not share his positive or negative experiences with you. trust injury, causing him to act autonomously in later ages. can give.
3. Making You Feel Guilty by Comparison: "Look at your friend, does she ever cry?" Sentences such as It makes you feel inadequate and guilty. The adaptation process of each child are different from each other.
4. To Intimidate or Threaten: "If "If you don't go to school, I won't like you." or "The police come and take you "takes away." Expressions such as these express the feeling of insecurity in the child's world. reinforces. He believes in conditional love. Positive comments to attract your attention and takes advantage of all kinds of negative behavior. In the following years, this situation may increase.
5. Projecting Your Own Anxiety to Your Child: If you, as parents, are looking worried or worried as you leave at the door. If you're crying, the child says, "This is a really dangerous place and my family is too." He's afraid." receives the message. He becomes more distant from school and this situation does not accept. He avoids communicating with his family and teacher and constantly cries.

When to See an Expert Should you apply?

Parents' and if the child's behavior does not improve despite all the efforts of the school, professional Getting help is the healthiest way. The following situations require consulting a specialist: proves that its time has come:

●       Child's If school refusal lasts longer than 2 weeks and the level of severity does not decrease.

●       Child regression behaviors such as bedwetting, thumb sucking, or nail biting if it started.

●       Sleep If the routine is disrupted and night nightmares are experienced.

●       School Constantly leaving his/her mother/father's side even outside working hours if he doesn't want to. If he keeps monitoring even inside the house. Child,separation If he cannot cope with his anxiety.

●      Panic attack, extreme anxiety when he hears the word school is experiencing aggression or withdrawal.

You may need to consult a child psychologist or pedagogue. Game Identify the cause of your child's fears through therapy or cognitive behavioral techniques. can learn and develop strategies specific to family structure.

ERA College school phobia approach

ERA College, which adopts the "Holistic Development" model in education, Extremely sensitive and professional towards students who have adaptation problems approaches. Every student is valuable to us and each has an adaptation period. It is special to itself.

ERA The process of combating school phobia in college follows these steps:

●       PDR Support: Guidance and Psychological Our consultancy service helps students who have just started school and their families through the process. communicates from the very beginning. Individual training for children with high anxiety levels follow-up and support plans are created.

●       Game Focused Orientation: The first days are focused on games and social cohesion rather than academic load. Help the child recognize school as a "fun and safe place" our purposes.

●       Parent Collaboration: We do not exclude. We ensure that they take an active role in the process. what we do common attitude that should be demonstrated at home and at school through regular meetings We determine. Consistency is the golden key to our success.

●      Establishing a Bond of Trust: Our teachers do not just transfer knowledge to their students. At the same time, we serve as a safe haven by giving love to our students. Children feel loved and valued in their classrooms When they feel it, their anxiety decreases rapidly.